Listen now to your aged and semi-venerable old Aunty---get thee to a pawnshop and procure--or borrow--or whatever--an AXE. You have no idea what it does for your soul, even if nobody hears it but you. Most of my life I never performed music for others--hell, I'd shit and go blind if somebody caught me at it(kinda like jilling off, I suppose). Before I sprouted boobs I had my autoharp (still hard to play with big knockers) to cuddle and strum when life got sucky. Then I had my classical--now, years later I have Izumi and Zoe and Teddy--and my three girls make me very, very happy, even if all I'm doing is half-assedly noodling thru an old Neil Young song. Used guitars are cheap--although a Takamine Jasmine is nearly as cheap brand new. Every hour I spend playing or singing is an hour that heals my spirit and rewards me in ways I can't begin to describe. Even if you play only 3 songs. Even if nobody else ever hears you play--music HEALS. Go for it!!!