Apparently the water around here doesn't just taste horrible, it also does evil and nasty things to the pipes.
But anyway. This is what our kitchen counter currently looks like:

Note the bright shiny new faucet! He was able to get it on in the end, which means we were able to turn the water back on. But also note the remains of the molded-to-all-hell backspash! Not sure what we're going to do about that right now. We did want to replace the counters
eventually, but they really weren't on the list for this current round of home maintenance.
We also discovered that the configuration of the bathroom vanity we liked doesn't work with where the pipes are. We also discovered that there's supposed to be 18" between the center of the toilet and the edge of the vanity, and that's simply not possible with the pipes, no matter how small the vanity is. Yay for old houses.