teaser

[dragonimp]

Just a teaser for the next part in the "Waiting" thread (yeah, I can't keep away). There might also be another part to "Morning After" - which means more smut, since that's basically what that thread is ^_^;.
Can't promise either'll be done any time soon.

Roy knelt and set the bundle of flowers against the grave marker. His gaze and his hand lingered for a moment on the flowers before he looked up to the name cut into the marble. It seemed out of place to have such a cold, static marker for a man who had always been so warm and lively.

"Hey Maes." He rocked back into a more comfortable crouch and attempted a smile for his old friend. "It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry I haven't been by . . . I've been busy lately." Roy bit his lip. "That's a weak excuse. It's true I've been busy, but that's no excuse for not stopping by. To tell you the truth. . . ." The former colonel sighed, glancing down at his hands for a moment before looking back up. "To tell you the truth, I haven't wanted to face you. I'm such a coward." He smiled again, a self-mocking smirk. "A stupid, sentimental coward who's been too afraid to talk to his dead best friend."

Roy shifted a bit. "Gracia and Elysia are doing well, but I'm sure you already know that. It's amazing how much Elysia has grown in the three years I've been away. She's going to be a beautiful woman some day, just like her mother—just like you always said." He smiled fondly for a moment, remembering annoying phone calls and endless, endless photographs.

Then he sighed, his smile fading. "Three years . . . that's a long time. A lot of things can happen in three years . . . but not for me. I was dead. Dead to the rest of the world, and dead to myself. I barely noticed the time passing.

"The truth is, Maes . . . I gave up. I didn't see any reason to fight any more—I didn't see any reason to live—so I gave up." Roy grimaced, looking down. "Wow. I'd already admitted that to myself, but saying it out loud like this. . . . I gave up, Maes. And I very nearly pulled the trigger."

He was silent for a long moment, watching a light breeze play over the cemetery grass. "It took Edward coming back to make me start living again. To make me even consider it." He snorted, then looked back to the grave marker. "I really am pathetic. I need other people to give me a reason to live, or I need a goal—that other people give me. If I'm protecting people, or commanding people, then I thrive. Otherwise I'm useless. I guess I can't live for myself." He chuckled. "I think I'm some sort of leech, one that sucks strength and courage from the people around him."

If that were true, then everyone around you would wither, his memory of Hughes countered. Since that obviously doesn't happen—quite the opposite, in fact—then you can't be a leech. Don't be so hard on yourself; you're a leader, Roy, and a leader thrives when people follow him.

The former military commander smiled. "I hope you're right, Maes. But if that's the case . . . I really need this inquiry to go my way so I can get my goddamn rank back. Wish me luck, okay?"