Blegh

[dragonimp]

Writing has ... not been happening, the last several days. Work has been crazy busy with the summer reading game starting, but I was off Sunday and today and just .. haven't been able to write. I got a little done on Sunday, but nowhere near what I wanted. It's not that I don't know what's going to happen, the plot actually resolved itself fairly well Sunday, but when I sit down to write everything that tries to come out is flat and clunky. Like I've regressed back to high school or something.

I read over some of my fics and parts of them read like a tennis shoe in the dryer. And I think, why didn't anyone tell me this was awkward? Then I remember that most people are afraid to leave negative comments. And I start thinking that everyone's just being nice and is too polite (or scared) to tell me it sucks. And, oh yeah, did I mention I've kinda been in one of my "the internet fucking SUCKS" moods lately?

Really, though, I think I've been worn out from work and either allergies or a mild cold/flu (probably allergies), which hasn't been the best for my mood OR any sort of thinking.

I did get a tiny bit of painting done today, so it wasn't all wasted. I really should wash my watercolor palette, though, it's running out of clean places to mix colors. And now my wrist hurts.

Comments

[beautifulfic]

A list, because my time, it is short ;)

1. From whatI read of that fic you posted a while ago, none of it came across as clunky to me. The creator always sees the flaws: it's the way life goes. Perhaps none of your readers thought it was an issue?

2. Writing comes and goes for me. One day I can slam out 3000 words, the next I'm staring blankly at the screen, half-screaming with frustration. You're not alone.

3. I'm in an Internet sucks mood, too. Damned internet.

*Hugs* I hope work calms down for you soon.

B xxx

[dragonimp]

I'm actually pretty happy with the way the first chapter of Now and Then turned out, but some of my other fics just seem... really awkward to me now. And since I can't really trust that anyone would tell me, all I have to go on is my own impression.

Yeah, I think I'm in a bit of a writing slump, for whatever reason. I'm going to try to get some done today before I work in the evening, but the rest of my week is pretty booked -_-.

I think the illusion vs. reality of closeness on the internet is getting to me (again).

[brinylon.livejournal.com]

Tbh, most people, if they don't like something just don't leave a comment at all. The last few weeks at least 2 authors on my flist have been having fits of insecurity and gloom over what to me looks like rather gently worded critisism so I'm not blaming people for keeping crit to themselves.

Another thing is, in a veritably sea of bad fic (my fandom is very quiet right now so I'm browing ffnet more than is healthy ;p), people are genuinely happy to read nice fic, even if it's not perfect.

*hugs* the internet is just going through a rough patch today ;p

[dragonimp.livejournal.com]

I'm as guilty as anyone of not leaving critical comments. The few times I have, I've either gotten no response from the author, leaving me to wonder if I've offended them, or it's gone into an unpleasant situation. I can think of only once where I got a positive response from the author. And I always try to be careful with my wording. Unfortunately, knowing this means I tend to interpret silence as negative, which isn't the best thing to do, and I end up putting less stock in the positive comments than I probably should.

But I've also just been grumpy lately so it's probably not the best time to analyze such things ^^;

[adraekh.livejournal.com]

Just felt I should randomly jump in here. Apologies if it seems . . . random.

I used to leave extensive critiques for authors down at FFN (haha), but I've more or less stopped that practice after a minor realization I had relating to writing: Basically, writing is an art form that's best executed when the writer is enthusiastic about what he/she is writing. This is a truth; the more you love something, the better you'll do.

However, what better way is there to kill enthusiasm than a critique left in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Which more or less explains why I don't critique WIPs anymore (aka most stories I'm interested in) - unless I'm just nitpicking or looking out for typos, all the easy-to-correct stuff - because I don't want to destroy the momentum of the story. This has happened to me before, so I know what it feels like. I've asked for critiques on pieces of writing stuck in the WIP stage, and when I got them, I got so caught up in how I should perfect the first few chapter that I never got to writing the remaining chapters because there's no more enthusiasm.

Also, the other issue that comes with this is that the editing brain and the writing brain really shouldn't come into any contact at all while a story is being written. Once they collide, it's very hard to get anywhere. Critiques force writers to go into their editing mode, and on a WIP, that's downright dangerous. This is why most writing advice comes down to something like: Don't worry about the quality of the work you're producing. Just write until you finish the damn chapter, and edit afterwards.

Anyways, that probably came out a bit jumbled. Um, here's another post that explains it better than I explain it, except in how it relates to acting: http://tightropegirl.livejournal.com/13904.html#cutid1

On the other hand, maybe you just need a harsh, harsh beta? (Though, really good betas are . . . rare.) =/

[nochick-fics.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you just need a break, you know? Nothing wrong with that. Better than wasting your time writing something that you will look back upon and hate (been there done that).

I don't think your writing sucks at all, personally. I realize I'm probably the minority when it comes to my lackadaisical attitude towards writing fanfiction; I like to throw it out there and see if it sticks, and it's fun to do so. And I'm usually not one for giving concrit, solicited or otherwise, because I just like to see people enjoy what they post and don't want to discourage that, even if it's not my particular cup of tea. Unless a story just blatantly ass-rapes good grammar and punctuation (and character personalities), I can overlook a lot.

Do you have a beta? I thought you did at some point but hadn't heard from them? Not that I think you need one, but for your own peace of mind...

[dragonimp.livejournal.com]

I certainly don't blame anyone for being reluctant to leave critical comments. It's not a simple thing to write a critique, and it's incredibly hard to tell how the author would take it. Personally I swing back and forth between writing and editing almost constantly, especially if I'm posting chapter-by-chapter, but I keep in mind that others don't. I've also seen authors who don't want to hear critiques once a story is finished, because for them done means done.

Editing as I go is how I'm most comfortable writing, so I would rather have critiques along the way. Especially if it's on something that might affect a later part of the story. Even if it's something like word choice or structure I would rather be told. But I understand why people don't. It does mean I don't put much faith in the public opinion of my work, though.

I have had such a hard time getting and keeping a beta, any beta.

[adraekh.livejournal.com]

Despite what I said above, I actually also edit as I go while I'm writing. It's something I'm personally trying to kick, since it slows down my progress (argh), and I really do think practicing the write-first, edit-later is beneficial, since the brain actually truly does use different parts of the brain for editing and creative writing. Also, you've gotta have something to edit before you can edit.

But to each her own! Seriously, whatever works for you is great. :)

As for betas - they are indeed hard to get. I usually use close RL friends or other writers I've opened up lines of communication with over email to do spot-checks for me. It's not in-depth betaing, since in-depth betaing takes hours and hours and hours of work (i.e. http://www.kekkai.org/synecdochic/meta/bonebeta.html), but it's better than nothing.

And for what it's worth, this is how I opened up lines of communication with those online writers who turned into betas: I left a critique on a story. They replied and asked for more clarification. We took it to email. It evolved from there. (It's really haphazard and completely based on luck, so don't feel bad if you don't have a beta; one of my favorite writers doesn't have a beta either, so . . .)

In lieu of a beta, though, you could read a bunch of writing meta and try to improve from there on your own. No, I'm serious here. Stuff like this (http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/282057.html#cutid1) is amazing.

And now I'm going to stop spamming your page with my babble. Good luck! :)

[dragonimp.livejournal.com]

The irony is, I want to write. I've had rough times where I've felt obligated but actually wanted to be working on something else, but this isn't really that. This part just .. isn't coming well. Being tired probably has a lot to do with it.

Yeah, I don't really give concrits very often for much the same reasons, which, as I stated in a recent post, is a bit hypocritical of me. But fear of author reaction is a big reason, too c_c;. I don't really expect crits, I'm just aware that flaws aren't likely to be pointed out.

Rainjoy offered to beta the charity fic for me, but otherwise, I appear to be functionally betaless. Seaweed_fma had offered, but I tried contacting her a couple times and haven't heard back.

[dragonimp.livejournal.com]

Heh, yeah, I used to edit obsessively and it really can slow things down. But I get twitchy if I don't go back and edit a section after it's done, if only to make sure that the story is heading in the right direction.

My mom has always edited my original work, and she's great about pointing out things that are shaky or don't work well, but fanfic and yaoi aren't her thing. Same with the RL friends who used to edit for me. So I am beta'less -_- at least for the moment.

Thanks for the link! Those essays look interesting.