rewrites and memes

Rewrites partly done. I will want to run these through a beta, if anyone's up for it. A good harsh beta, preferably.

And on that note:

THE ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME

"Feedback" means tear into it. You can post anonymous.

And a bit lighter:
Name one of my fics in comments (or a scene from one of them) and I will (try to) tell you what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

(The challenge will be to see if I remember.)

/dork

Mom and I got lunch at a nearby Panera after taking care of some business at the social security office. Our salads came with apples, but since the salad was pretty sweet on its own we were saving the apples for later. Anyway, I finished first and was examining the apples (they're fujis, the red and green patterns are interesting, you can see how the sun must've hit them as they were hanging on the tree - I spent a year painting apples in school, I can't help it). I do realize when I think about it that most people don't really stare at apples (or most anything) quite that closely, but they're fascinating and mom and I were talking about possible compositions (did I mention I painted apples?) - when one of the staff walked by and asked if there was something wrong with the apple and did I need it replaced? Because I was staring at it awfully intently and I could get it replaced if I wanted.

That would've been funny enough, but my knee-jerk reaction was along the lines of "No! My apples! You can't take my apples!" which I thankfully didn't actually say.