(no subject)

[dragonimp]

I'm some ways I actually kinda hate the kudos system. I miss interacting with people and actually hearing what they think.

Comments

[pickleweasel]

*peeks in and waves*
I know I commented on a few of your stories lately but this post (which I read on a very very rare poking around here) compelled me to say more, with a bit of a personal touch since this is a little less out in the open. Advisory for angst/toxic relationship/ptsd, so don't read when not up for that...

I've been reading new and rereading old stories of yours over the last... Month-ish? after rewatching Brotherhood. It's been really soothing for me. Like comfort food, in a way. Even the angsty stories/parts. The familiarity of some stories, plus the quality of your writing, plus how you do the Roy and Ed interactions so well just make me feel good. I think I wrote on Mother Arc that I've been reading it aloud to my boyfriend. And we've both been enjoying the experience.

Anyway, here's why it matters even more than just enjoyment. Things have been hard for me emotionally for a while now, about a year and a half off and on. Four months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 16 months (had been with boyfriend 3 years at that point, it was a poly situation), but basically all but the first two months of the relationship with her were chaotic. We both hurt each other a lot, but I chose to leave because I was tired of her verbal lashing out when angry, passive aggression, manipulativeness, etc. Basically how she treated me when experiencing her own negative feelings, was bad enough often enough that I found some symptoms of PTSD (which I developed years ago from unrelated trauma) that had gone away cropping back up. Anyway even after I broke up with her she wanted to get back together, promised change, etc, and due to some complications I didn't cut her out of my life entirely so the last four months have been...interesting.

Reason I say all this and how it's linked - your stories are fiction, yes, but the interpersonal dynamics feel so real. Your depictions of Ed as hotheaded at times but still in a workable relationship where he doesn't treat his partner like crap every single time he gets upset/angry provide a counterexample to my ex (multiple stories show this but I'm mainly thinking of the Waiting series). Not saying he's perfect (and I like that he's not) but just seeing someone who can be easy to anger but isn't someone who constantly demoralizes and denigrates their partner because of it... It's important to me because of my experiences. I've always enjoyed how you write Roy and Ed together but now certain things have more meaning to me. And it helps soothe. I hope that makes some semblance of sense.

(Also being able to like/fave/give kudos vs commenting - the first still feels good to get notificiations in my inbox, but the latter is what really makes my day. I haven't written anything in over a year and it's mostly knowing people are still reading my stuff that reminds me I need to get back to it, and the kudos are the main reminder. But comments are where it's at.)

[pickleweasel]

Forgot to say in there, thank you. For writing and sharing.

[dragonimp]

Oh wow, I'm really sorry that happened to you :(. That sounds like a lot of awful that piled up. I'm glad - and honored - that writing could help even a little.

That's one of the wonderful things about fiction. I often put my own issues into these - especially the ones dealing with depression - but once they leave me they take on a life of their own. Ed's seemingly contradictory nature (volatile but so very caring) is one of the things that draws me to his character. It's heartening to hear that it resonates so well :))

And I want to offer you some massive hugs - I hope things are starting to look up or at least even out.

[pickleweasel]

(belated because work has been super busy) Thank you. *accepts hugs and squeezes you tight* I'm glad my comment came across how I intended. General feedback on stories is one thing I like to give, but sometimes it gets personal. Most authors I know appreciate hearing when their work affects people in a positive way, and I just wanted to share and express gratitude. Boyfriend and I read more Mother Arc together last night and I'm enjoying the second read through (I forget how many chapters behind I got) :) Things are looking up little by little. As I said, work's been busy but in a good way and I just got a raise/more trust. My living situation is weird and complicated because of the ex but I am safe and housed, and not paying much rent, so that's something. And I wrote for the first time in over a year, only 350ish words of an RP, but that's something for the first time since last June!

Anyway, hope you're doing well (I've yet to check if you've posted more entries but will). Thanks again for writing, and for reading!